On a good day I don't want to leave my warm sheets, but on most days I feel that there is no point to getting out of bed. Usually I'm not even tired but I seriously think through everything I could and should do during the day and really wonder what is the point. Aaron is at work, so it's not like we could cuddle or hang out or anything. I think of my goals, but wonder what does that really achieve. Then I think of how happy and accomplished I will feel, but that doesn't really give me the motivation. I will just be returning to the bed at some point, right? I hate that feeling. Most days I get out of bed because of the thought "I'm supposed to."
Today was one of those days. I'm not even sad or annoyed, and it's not laziness, because I do get out of bed. It's not a bored or tired feeling, it's just this bleak and hopeless feeling. It probably is tied to my issue with looking at everything I've got to do as one huge problem and not being able to sort it all out. So, focusing on trying to be a productive member of society I got out of bed and did my morning routine of coffee and checking up on various social elements. I had a text from Aaron, then I went to facebook, then I finally went to WoW to wake up while leveling my Shaman. Currently she is very close to 73, so I got about 2 levels since my last post which is good considering it's high levels and I didn't go hardcore on cranking out XP.
Also, yesterday, I worked on my story. I didn't get everything mapped out like I wanted, but I found a kick ass monster, and really got the structure of a story arch out of it. It's kind of basic, but I'm happy with it. I feel like I could have pushed myself more, but no point in getting frustrated at myself for not finishing the first adventure and being in a bad mood. I will enjoy this small victory. My problem with writing adventures is really fleshing things out. I can set down major points, but then adding in more to make it playable is where I tend to give up.
I've been a bit sick, nothing serious, but enough to give me a head ache today and the sniffles and a sore throat. I think I will focus on leveling my Shaman today and once I feel better really tackle at least one of my goals.
On a side note I just agreed to work on a project that I am taking next to no money for which I'm hoping isn't as bad of a choice as it could be. I want to work with this company and the projects are awesome. If I work for cheap right now, once they make more money and know how serious I am about working with them I hope I can be better compensated for my time.
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